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Post

EO, AWC and stuff

01 Aug 2019
51 Comments
EO, my videos, trials

So... We survived 40 degrees, deep sand and hot nights in a tiny bungalow... And we had many runs to be proud of!

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Extra proud of To who once again proved to be one of the very fastest dogs out there - winning team jumping in ring 2 (that was the slower ring of the two - all better times were from the other ring) and helping our team get into the Finals where she had a beautiful clean run as well. In individual jumping, 0:01s after the winner (even with some time lost as I chickened out of a BC after a straight tunnel 🙂 ), but one bar. Unfortunately, some weird problems with the DW, deciding 2 hits on a down ramp are stupid and 1 should do... Ooops.

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I was super happy with puppy Ta as well - she was running faster and jumping flatter and more extended as ever - not bad at all for my slow, clumsy puppy! For some reason, weaves were really confusing her, even though she normally has great entries... But she was still the best 2-year-old out there! 🙂

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With Le, we managed one careful clean run for the team and helped with getting into a final, but then had to pull her as she did something funny over one jump ( a kind of heels over head over the bar...) and her back was sore after... Other than that, we continued with a series of strange eliminations (that started in June tryouts), making me think once again her hearing is not o.k... I don't notice anything in normal life, but it seems that with background noises, she can't hear me well??? I remember this happened to La as well at one point, but she was 13 and Le is 9,5, so not sure that's really it, but she really looks just as confused as La was when she started to lose her hearing...

EO 2019 - To, Ta, Le

All that said, I still came to a realization I REALLY don't enjoy trials anymore. I do enjoy running my dogs, but the rest of the time, I just want to go home or walk in the woods... - So I was actually happy I don't need to run finals... Not the right attitude I guess... Watching all those handlers with the wish to win, I realized I actually run with a wish not to win, just so I can go home sooner...

I guess I tend to overdo things... - I did so many seminars that I ended up completely burnt out. And now I feel the same about trials... So I decided to sit back, cancel AWC plans and work on my introvert troubles that got a bit out of control... Of course, we'll continue with training, conditioning and canicross and everything else we really enjoy, but trials are on hold for now.

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51 Comments

  1. noa August 3, 2019 at 22:33 Log in to Reply

    Silvia -- I too get easily overwhelmed in crowded noisy situations. Hot/humid and lack of sleep in addition? No brain power left here. > 2 days of that -- no wonder you cannot make the best decisions 🙁 very very sad you won’t be at AWC. It’s only the second time since I know you that I can think of and without your runs to watch it is not as fun at all!

    But yes, I also find it harder and harder to tolerate the outside world since I started to work from home, so trying to find a balance and a way to be out and not only in, is a challenge for sure.

    It is still a mystery where you find the brain power to keep up with all of our posts in the online classes. No other online class allows this many posts and long videos. Agility hero and online classes superhero!!!!!

    I know you will find a way because it is you who taught me to think of a weakness as something that could be turned into a strength, and that winning is boring b/c there is nothing to learn from it.

    • LoLaBu August 4, 2019 at 11:50 Log in to Reply

      Yes, working from home is a bit too enjoyable and comforting… -- Making me go to places less&less often… -- and making doing so more&more exhausting… -- A circle that got out of control a bit… But I know I can work through it now that I see more clearly that I have a problem. So I actually did some grocery yesterday (I normally order online of course and they deliver 🙂 ) -- and survived!!!

  2. Beth Ann August 4, 2019 at 02:11 Log in to Reply

    Congratulations on getting thru very tough conditions- I’m sure you all did beautifully. I feel very much the same about trials. I get there and it can be so stressful. I just want to enjoy my dog! Thank you for always being honest and helpful!

  3. gabriella Miholics August 4, 2019 at 02:54 Log in to Reply

    From one introvert to another, I hear you. I would rather be home training than trialling.

    Congrats on an awesome showing and thanks for sharing your runs with us!

    Inspiring!

    • LoLaBu August 4, 2019 at 11:44 Log in to Reply

      Thank you!

  4. Helen Davey-Smith August 5, 2019 at 00:42 Log in to Reply

    Yeah know what you mean about looking forward to end of the school holidays… emptier beaches, walking places here too..

    Yes, I see now better where you are coming from. I think…There is comfort being at competitions -- being with people who get it -- about dogs, training, the fun of it, why some of us obsess about our dogs fitness, wellness, mental state as much as we do -- from the inside it doesn’t feel weird at all. I told someone yesterday that one of my three collies couldn’t be off lead to run around as she’d had some physio two days before (not kept on lead because she isn’t sociable -- she is, that’s the ‘problem’) and both people understood it for people, yes, and even horses (expensive, valuable creatures they said) but for a dog??? So the competitive, sport dog world is set apart by many things I guess.

    If ordinary everyday interaction has become more challenging then it’s not hard to see how even the place/people you enjoy being in/around might have become at least on the surface part of the ‘problem’. Anxiety doesn’t help -- it feeds on spending way too much time alone, it loves it when we do that. It hangs out flags…..

    As others and you have said, it’s way too comforting and familiar and easy to stay at home -- instead of having to negotiate with situations and people we don’t know or can’t control. A lot of us will identify with that feeling.

    So yes, grocery shopping is a great place to start, and you did it and you lived to tell the tale maybe do something that makes you step away from the familiar every day?
    As said before, you are an introvert for sure, but not a hermit, so it’ll all come back.

  5. Helen Davey-Smith August 5, 2019 at 08:35 Log in to Reply

    sorry -- didn’t finish the anxiety bit -- it’s a strong word -- I mean more worrying about things that maybe don’t need worrying about quite so much. And the more we worry sometimes we just find more to worry about, but…just doing stuff helps..

    I still don’t think EOs were a good place to be this ‘year!!

    • LoLaBu August 5, 2019 at 12:23 Log in to Reply

      Ha ha, yes, definitely not a good place to be no! But yeah, the weirdest thing is that I’m not worried about being around people at all (at least I don’t feel it)… Just super tired after. The more shallow the conversation, the more tired I am (I think because I need to work harder to keep listening). The more advanced the conversation, the better.

      • jessicavdl August 10, 2019 at 08:21 Log in to Reply

        ha, thanks for putting something I really feel into words !!

  6. denise oldfield August 5, 2019 at 14:54 Log in to Reply

    I enjoyed watching your runs Silvia, but sad that you don’t enjoy the trials anymore. I remember qualifying and working in championship obedience, it got to the point I hated the stress and all the people watching, it eventually started to affect my confidence too. Maybe one day hopefully I will get to see you run

  7. Anja Razgorsek August 6, 2019 at 09:16 Log in to Reply

    Huh. Take care of yourself. I know you and dogs will have just as much fun in life with competition on pause. 😉 I find it harder to go back in the situations that made me uncfortable, even anxious. I’m introvert + anxiety. I had to really kick myself for some things that I was avoiding for sake of my inner peace. Like you went to grocery store and survived! Yey! To manny more victories. How boring would life be if we would not have something to chalange us?

  8. Amélie August 6, 2019 at 10:49 Log in to Reply

    Hey Silvia,

    I read a few comments and I am a little bit fed up to read the same things again and again from people who have no idea what it means to be introvert. Being introvert is not an illness. It’s all about the way you feel comfortable, the way you gain or lose power. You can’t simply “get out of your confort zone” !!!
    No-one said you HAVE TO challenge you health by “getting out of your comfort zone”. LIfe is about balance. When things become overwhelming because of your very nature, then there is no reason to fight.
    Like you, I realized a few years ago that trialing was not for me. After 13 years of agility competition, I suddenly lost my will to win and stamina. I stopped competing, went back a few times and really did not like it. Then I went to the DogDance world Champ, all the way to Moscow. And realized once there that the same occured. It was intersting but I had no will to stay there. So I quit.

    I now do intersting activities I can do all alone, in the woods or at home. Dog Parkour, scent detection, treiball… or even agility. At home. What is trialing for, anyway? At some point you realize your well-being and that of your dog is really more important than wins or rosettes.

    Take care and stay yourself.

    • LoLaBu August 6, 2019 at 15:32 Log in to Reply

      I would agree a couple of years ago, but I do think I let it go a bit too far in my case and at this stage, it is limiting me too much, both in normal life and in agility where I used to love to compete. I still think competing is important for further growth + I would really like if going to a grocery shop or a vet wouldn’t be such a huge, tiring event for me… I would have way more energy left for things I love then!

    • Anja Razgorsek August 7, 2019 at 13:31 Log in to Reply

      Amelie
      I do agree that introvert is not an illnes.

      Whenever we come to a point that we wish/want to do something, but something stops us (heart beating, sweatting, fear, unplesant feeling) and afterwards we feel also bad for not going or doing. That is the time when we should start to make some steps to “get better”, feel better when going out of comfort zone. Whether it be meeting people, dating, searching for a person to spend life with, competition, hiking, driving, grocery shoping, calling a doctor, going to the vet. It is a nice feeling when something does not drain all your energy and you can do the fun stuff.

      But I also do support pause on trials.

      • LoLaBu August 7, 2019 at 14:17 Log in to Reply

        The funny thing is I don’t feel any of the above. I actually really enjoy most interactions with people, especially at trials where I don’t get stupid questions (like if my dogs are littermates, how to teach a dog to come when called etc. 🙂 ). But I’m SOOO tired after that I’m starting to avoid it on purpose as I know I’ll be completely useless for days after…

        • Amélie August 13, 2019 at 19:33 Log in to Reply

          I don’t feel any of these as well.
          In my opinion, these symptoms are more about agoraphobia, that can be “cured” with an appropriate treatment, not those of introversion.
          I love to be with friends, I love long talks, I loved going to competitions when it meant meeting people I appreciate. I traveled all the way through Portugal and spain with friends during 6 weeks.
          But… every day/evening together tired me no matter what.
          Intro/extraversion is about the way you find energy. There is no tratment for this.
          But, sometimes, introversion may lead to agoraphobia when it’s so tiring iy becomes a bad experience every time 😉

          So maybe it’s something to explore 😉

          • LoLaBu August 14, 2019 at 18:08 Log in to Reply

            Yes, exactly!!! I don’t have agoraphobia or social anxiety at all, I just can’t handle more than 1 to max. 2 days without recharging away from people anymore. I would LOVE EO/AWC if it was 2 days (like it used to be when it first started!!!), but by the 4th day, I’m so exhausted it becomes torture! I can’t sleep after a social day at all because my brain can’t be switched off after a day talking to people etc. -- because I don’t do that often, so too many impressions and excitement for my brain, used to work in a very different mode… -- I can’t sleep after going to a party, family meeting or another event either, so it’s definitely not nerves, it’s just that I can handle one night without sleep, but not 3.

  9. Dorota Anglart August 7, 2019 at 22:10 Log in to Reply

    Once again I admire you- that you always go your own way! It’s strong that you do the right thing for yourself. I just want to say, that after loosing Batman, I had one year without trials and it made me realise some things about myself: trials do not mean that much to me and the “fear of missing out” that I had before disappeared. Now I only fear missing out on the valuable time with my dogs and prioritize my life differently. Hope you will find your balance with that! And see you in class soon

    • LoLaBu August 8, 2019 at 13:57 Log in to Reply

      Yeah, it feels strange to not be there after running AWCs since 1997, but well, it actually feels good! No worries about ripping the pads in the mountains, too much swimming or hiking etc.! 🙂

  10. Marina Gushchina August 21, 2019 at 02:42 Log in to Reply

    I can only imagine the horrible conditions… But you are the best handler in the world, you had phenomenon runs and you have great healthy dogs – 3 of them! That’s a blessing! You don’t have to struggle with hip dysplasia and only dream of these competitions because no matter what you do – its impossible… Or – reactive, non-working dog that would run away any time no matter how hard you work… You have everything to be on top! And you are:). You fully deserved your spot, it was a very hard work to get the the puppy there, overcoming physical limitations as a miracle… If I didn’t know her story, I would never believed it -- she runs just super:) . Your work with Ta is my inspiration -- it helps me keep going when I lose hope…
    Your dogs were super happy and speedy on the video, despite all conditions – that’s the most important… Anything else is unpredictable – that’s just the sport we love, sometimes good luck and sometimes -- not so good:) but it will always be better next time.
    I know you never give up:)
    You are the fighter, I am sure you will be back on track soon:) We love watching all your runs!!!
    LOL,I am a terrible introvert too, and it would be a paradise for me to be home and train dogs instead of being crazy all day long in a busy, noisy and packed corporate environment -- and trying to focus on work:) Enjoy your break!


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sialaSilvia Trkman is known for bringing every dog, from her first dog on, to the very top of the sport. Her dogs are known for great speed, tight turns, running contacts and long and injury-free careers. Silvia is in agility since 1992 and is
– 3x World Champion (with two different dogs)
– 5x European Open winner, with 4 different dogs (Lo, La, Bu, Le)!!!
– National Championships podium and World Team member with every dog she’s ever had
– National Champion for 22-times (with 5 different dogs of 3 different breeds)

– World Team member for 19-times (mostly with at least two dogs at the time – sometimes four 🙂 )

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