EO, AWC and stuff
So... We survived 40 degrees, deep sand and hot nights in a tiny bungalow... And we had many runs to be proud of!
Extra proud of To who once again proved to be one of the very fastest dogs out there - winning team jumping in ring 2 (that was the slower ring of the two - all better times were from the other ring) and helping our team get into the Finals where she had a beautiful clean run as well. In individual jumping, 0:01s after the winner (even with some time lost as I chickened out of a BC after a straight tunnel 🙂 ), but one bar. Unfortunately, some weird problems with the DW, deciding 2 hits on a down ramp are stupid and 1 should do... Ooops.
I was super happy with puppy Ta as well - she was running faster and jumping flatter and more extended as ever - not bad at all for my slow, clumsy puppy! For some reason, weaves were really confusing her, even though she normally has great entries... But she was still the best 2-year-old out there! 🙂
With Le, we managed one careful clean run for the team and helped with getting into a final, but then had to pull her as she did something funny over one jump ( a kind of heels over head over the bar...) and her back was sore after... Other than that, we continued with a series of strange eliminations (that started in June tryouts), making me think once again her hearing is not o.k... I don't notice anything in normal life, but it seems that with background noises, she can't hear me well??? I remember this happened to La as well at one point, but she was 13 and Le is 9,5, so not sure that's really it, but she really looks just as confused as La was when she started to lose her hearing...
All that said, I still came to a realization I REALLY don't enjoy trials anymore. I do enjoy running my dogs, but the rest of the time, I just want to go home or walk in the woods... - So I was actually happy I don't need to run finals... Not the right attitude I guess... Watching all those handlers with the wish to win, I realized I actually run with a wish not to win, just so I can go home sooner...
I guess I tend to overdo things... - I did so many seminars that I ended up completely burnt out. And now I feel the same about trials... So I decided to sit back, cancel AWC plans and work on my introvert troubles that got a bit out of control... Of course, we'll continue with training, conditioning and canicross and everything else we really enjoy, but trials are on hold for now.
i Think there are more of us than first appears that have a complicated relationship with agility competition environments, for ourselves and our dogs.
Going to competitions for me creates an incentive to learn more, train better, invest in so many ways in that and my dogs’ learning. For many people they are more social and for many they can be an escape from work/life pressures.
For me, after a break from them for two years for injury/personal reasons, it’s good to be back out there some weekends, with lots of weekends in between at home. Getting the balance right isn’t easy !
I agree -- I think trials are important for us to keep improving and learning and that’s the major thing that kept me trialing. Unfortunately, most of one or two day trials around here are not that high level to allow all that much learning and big trials are getting longer&longer and therefore harder&harder for me to survive -- I enjoy the first two days, but then every next one is harder…
big hugs ! I hope you got the chance to recoup and go on long strolls through the forests with the dogs. you had beautiful runs. I hope Le is feeling better and that all is well with her. So crazy to believe she’s 9.
Jessica
Thanks! Le’s back is back to normal already, it improved really rapidly thanks to Diamond… I think deep sand is just a really really bad surface for her running style, so she definitely won’t be running on the sand again.
Silvia, you and your dogs are awesome and I was inspired by every run I saw at EO. I’m sorry you’re feeling burnt out. I’ve been there and still am to some extent. I’m very very sad you canceled your AWC plans and hope you reconsider. I was looking forward to smiling and waving at my agility hero from afar again this year (from one introvert to another), and of course watching your exciting runs.
Thank you Channan! If you have any tips at how to work through that burnt out feeling, let me know, I’m terrible at this and will really try to get some help -- I should have done it earlier… But I can’t change my mind for this year anymore since Monday right after EO was the last day for registration and I asked them to change registrations all together, given I was both running and a reserve for Large, so canceling later would not be possible. Looking back at it, I should have skipped EO and save my energy for AWC that is much easier and more relaxing for me. Having to decide right after 5 crazy hot days and 0 sleep the last night, driving home, definitely didn’t help.
I don’t think I’ve done anything you haven’t tried. Taking time off and trialing less mostly, but still working a lot on Kirk’s conditioning and cross-training. Probably what helped me the most was to stop focusing on running clean (decided not to bother with Double Q’s for AKC nationals) or winning and just go and have fun with my dog.
I guess it’s probably easier for me to get over agility burnout because agility isn’t my full time job, it’s just one of my escapes from that day job thing that I’m REALLY burnt out over ;).
O.k., yes, a bit different then as it’s not really agility for me -- it’s traveling, being around people, changing my daily routines etc. that I think is exhausting for me. My job, even though it’s all about agility, is my escape from that part -- I think I actually love it a bit too much and use it as an excuse to isolate myself further…
Oh, well I have agility burnout and introvert issues too. Not to mention I’m paranoid about injury from when her shoulder was hurt when she was t-boned early 2018. So many opportunities for anxiety! For the introvert part I don’t trial very often and don’t enter all days/runs if I do; I arrive late and leave early. When things get ‘too much’ for me at trials I either find a place to walk my dogs, volunteer to set bars in a ring or go hide with the dogs in the RV. I very seldom socialize in the evenings, unless it is with a good friend or two, and even then I often politely decline and go to my RV to recharge for the next day. At WAO I’m pretty sure the rest of the team thought I was strange because I never went out for dinner with anyone. I just went back to the room and Kirk and I ate there . Worked well for me and Kirk appreciated not being left alone too!
Ahhh, yes, RV!!! That would make things WAAAY more enjoyable!!! And yes, I can totally relate to injury paranoia!!! Both agility and normal walks got less fun because of it… I’m not sure I’ll ever dare to run Le again as she has such a kamikaze style… And even our hikes and walks got way less fun after I started to worry they will get injured sprinting around (To had a triceps problem because of stepping in a hole while just running around)… And in the mountains, I worry for the pads and for their backs when lots of jumping on the rocks is needed etc… Not having any major event coming up helped a great deal though, so I’m definitely more relaxed now.
Hi Silvia! We miss you! It sounds like you need more forest time! I hope you get some. We think of you every day when we train and play, you are our biggest inspiration! Banksy would not be the amazing dog she is without all your help. I know every year I get older my point of view on so many things shifts, nothing wrong with that. Stuff changes! Best wishes to you and the dogs! Laura & Banksy
Thanks Laura! And yes, I certainly need to regroup, rethink, reset and do some changes…
I am sad to read that you feel this way Silvia. But I think maintaining the right balance in our lives is a challenge for most of us. In some periods of our lives it’s fairly easy, in others it’s harder. And sometimes we manage it, and sometimes we fail at it.
I have been going through some of the same struggles as you… But for me there have been other things in life that has been so draining, there haven’t even been energy to train much, and as a consequence of that, Mio dropped out of Graduates class, and we haven’t been trialing for 2,5 months now…. But we have done so much hiking, which is the best medicine for me 🙂 And I have also found a couple of really good podcasts, and listening to them has helped me in many ways. And I am happy to feel my energy and motivation for both training and trialing is now coming back 🙂
There are many ways to get help and inspiration, and I hope you figure out what is the best way for you to find the kind of balance you need in your life 🙂
And I must admit that the selfish part of me is sad I won’t be able to watch you and your dogs run at the AWC, cause you ALWAYS amaze me and inspire me! 🙂
Big hugs from Norway!
Thank you Anett. I’m very impressed by how you manage to do it all! I don’t have nearly as much going on… -- but still too much for me at this point… But I’m determined to get through this!
Hmmmm, I never wonder why I like you so much. 😀 SO much like me in so many ways. I DID get help and have learned some extrovert ways and I do enjoy it. But I still struggle and have to work at it. Bim has been a MAJOR struggle for me because there is no being an introvert with Bim. He announces his presence at any trial we are at and now everyone seems to always be watching us. People I never knew of or never spoke with now talk to me and tell me they can’t wait to see our runs. I find it VERY intimidating and stressful. And if he breaks his start line I’m happy to leave and go for a walk, hahahahahaha! HE might not be happy, though. So I am continuing because he likes it SO much.
I need to sign up for graduates again. I know I haven’t posted in ages, but I haven’t really done much. My dad died, I tore a muscle in my leg and little Spur has had a foot tumor that needed tending to so I have had to scratch SO many trials.
I wish I had advice for you other than I did find help with a cognitive therapist. It was hard work, and still is, but it did help me come out of my shell and go places and do things I never thought I would do. And I have enjoyed it. My stage fright is much less. I hope you figure it out that is good for you somehow. I can see how local trials might not be high enough learning for you, but mine still are hahahahahaha! Still not quite there with Bim at trials, but we are getting better and better all the time. My leg caused me to have to adjust my style some as I can’t really run fast, yet.
Good luck! I enjoyed every run I watched of yours and can’t wait to see the rest. Glad Le is better and Ta has improved so much!!!!! Always fun to watch your runs.
Oh no, so sorry to hear about your dad… But glad that you found a way out -- there is hope then!!! The weirdest thing is that I don’t feel nervous, intimidated or stressed at all, I really feel no fear about the run as such and I even really enjoy chatting the first day, seeing some old friends, students etc. But then every next day, I feel more exhausted and find it harder to focus -- or to talk or to do anything else -- and my energy level is so low that I’m super happy if I don’t have another run or I don’t need to do winning loops around the ring etc. The more tired I get, the harder I need to work to stay focused… -- and then I’m even more exhausted etc. I need many days with lots of sleep then to recover. If EO/AWC was one day, I would LOVE it and would be a total social butterfly ha ha.
Oh this sounds SO familiar. The last “big” trial I did was last year at a Regional and it took me a week to recover and I even went to my doctor and had a full blood workup because I couldn’t figure out why I was so exhausted. I decided this year I would not do those big events and take a break to focus on getting better at my handling. But I am determined to keep trying and not give up on them. Maybe next year. This year has been too hard.
Yeah, I did that too… Also tried gluten-free, carbs-free, sugar-free… -- I so wished a simple diet could take care of it, but it seems it’s not that easy…
Oh Hahahah, well I NEVER tried that! I like to eat so much those diets would never work for me. But I was raised by organic farmers so I eat pretty well I think. For me it was getting help and learning to handle the mental stress and managing my mind, but it’s still hard. I don’t think I could ever do a trial like EO or AWC, though. I’m always amazed at the people who can do those time and again.
I’m so happy you posted your runs, I didn’t get livestream this year so I missed everything! They were beautiful runs wow! Ahhh we are in the same place right now, I ran 2 trials and that’s it so far this year and I still have yet to enter any others. I think getting into judging might have been a mistake for me, by the time I’m done worrying about that and dealing with people I don’t have any energy left to use playing for fun. I don’t know …I just am not motivated and all I want to do is bike with the dogs and play disc. We’ve lost almost all of our outdoor trials and most of the summer trials are on turf now. 🙁 I guess I’m just bad at moderation -- can’t do anything halfway and have to go as hard on it as possible until I burn out on it. The funny thing is Vi is running better than ever with so little focus on agility and way more time spent running and cross training. I keep joking maybe it’s better if we don’t train so she doesn’t have any opportunities to break herself!
<3 I'm glad you posted this, it's nice to not feel alone in thinking that way.
Yes, I think judging would be very similar to me as giving seminars and that always drained so much energy that I could hardly still train my dogs… I love to train now, just not traveling to places and trialing, especially not more days in a row…
Hi Silvia I’m sorry you feel burn out I have always thought that you are one of those rare super women, answering all those million posts from classes, preparing them, doing all those mega cool dvds , running and training all your dogs and managing always being on top. So now I may think you need a rest, something that does not involve too much caring for others just you, because we all need it at some point. And then please come back I was looking forward watching To and Le at AWC but we can wait.
Thanks! I still love teaching online classes, so I can do that for hours! But cutting down social interactions definitely got a bit too extreme -- I guess working so much online was a good excuse to do so…
Hi Silvia….what to say about that…nothing more to add, I guess…
I think your mind had already given you some warnings last year but now I definitely think you need to rest and decide what is better for you and your dogs…it’s really fundamental!!!
You can’t ignore your needs, I think it’s definitely better you can understand what you like to do in your life and then behave as it should be for your interior peace…I obviously hope you will continue to follow us in online classes and, at the end but maybe the most important thing, you will continue with trainings just for fun (THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU’VE TEACHED ME! ♥️)
Good luck hope you can be happy forever ☺️
See you in class ☺️☺️
Reading all the responses here I’m not sure you need help, you have all the answers already.
There’s nothing wrong with you!
So you’re an introvert..join the club it’s a big one! … you really enjoy being with and around some people for some time..and then prefer being alone/with one or two people/with your dogs the rest of the time… that’s normal.
It’s actually really healthy sign to enjoy own company and alone time. Even lots of alone time.The opposite -- and I’ve known those who are -- isn’t healthy at all. It’s a mania
Agility competitions here in UK are often huge, we have the KCIF next weekend -- around 18? Rings… could be more -- I’ve had more than a few people say they are feeling jaded, burned out by this stage of the main season, and many of these only compete during that main season… It’s possible here to compete at shows almost all year every weekend, it’s madness. God knows what the dogs feel.
I didn’t envy anyone at the EOs this year coping with that temperature/humidity. It is stupidly draining. And we all know that no one is at their best when we feel like that. Combined with the odd hours to try to avoid it plus the inevitable minimal and disturbed sleep in between the competing, it must have felt more like torment than fun at times as it catches up with you as each day goes on.
Then there’s the heightened competitiveness/expectations/hopes.. Even if you don’t feel it, lots of others will and that can also be draining to be around after a day or so as the competition goes on and hopes are dashed.
And EOs are bigger entries -- so more people, all crammed in, stressing out, or the opposite partying loudly..
So, no, several days in that pressure cooker of people, intense heat, noise and emotions is not a naturally easy environment for someone as described above.
You love the game, you love your dogs, you love the training -- you’ve just fallen out of love with the travelling, crowds, noise and rush of it. Your love for trialling with your dogs will return strongly enough to overcome the bits you don’t enjoy, if you let it go for a bit.
But withdrawing completely isn’t healthy either, no. But as a knee jerk response to other burn outs it’s again pretty normal. You aren’t a hermit though , or you wouldn’t enjoy even those couple of days…so I think you’ll be ok.
Just stop assuming you’re alone in these feelings, accept they are normal part of you, that they always have been part of who you are -- it’s just that when we are younger we are more tolerant of people/situations that take us away from who we are because we don’t yet actually know who we are/what is important to us then……as we mature (the nicest way to see getting older) our personalities tend to settle into what we’ve actually always been at our core, and the other stuff drops away. Its not to say we can’t enjoy all those things, we can, just we don’t maybe hold onto them in quite the same way. You can use your self awareness to make events such as these two major ones more enjoyable.
Just some thoughts ☺️
Yes, that’s how it all started and it worked just fine… But it got a bit out of control, making me go to places less&less often… -- and making doing so more&more exhausting… It’s not just agility, I actually feel the most like home at trials because of all the old friends, common interest etc. Going to a grocery shop, dentist, vet, post office… -- you name it -- is actually way harder (other that it doesn’t take that long, so recovery is faster too). So I do think I let things go too far at this point and need to work on it NOW since it stops me from doing things I love or used to love -- like trials and even going to the mountains or sea-side those days when it gets a bit crowded there… -- can’t wait till September when people go back to work and give me some more room!